I’m probably one of the few people who have been gifted with more than one mother. My biological mother gave me up when I was born. I don’t remember my first foster home. I believe I was only there for a few months. Soon after, I was sent to another foster home with parents by the name of Brown until I was nine. When I turned ten, I was sent to live with the Brooks family. They adopted me which is the surname I now go by.
My mother, Marjorie Brooks, died many years ago at the age where mothers and daughters finally turn the page from adversaries to best friends. I’m often jealous of my close friends who still have these relationships and although their mothers consider me like a daughter, it’s not the same.
Part of that jealousy is the advice they now get from those mothers. When we are young, most of us fight with our mothers but when we become adults with grownup responsibilities, we often crave that motherly advice.
I don’t remember my mother giving me much advice when I was growing up. You see, my mother was a bit of a social butterfly and although she came home every night I was already in bed. And on the weekends the time we spent together was me helping her pick out an outfit then watching as she got ready. However, I do remember a particular time when she gave me advice. I didn’t give much credence to it then but I do now. That advice was to learn how to type.
My mother brought home an old electric typewriter from her office. This was before people started realizing the importance of having a computer in the home. I was taking a few business classes in school and one of the requirements was to take a typing class (I hope they still teach this skill in school). By this time, I was probably up to 35 or 40wpm.
As I was clicking away on the keys, my mother commented that I was already a good little typist. She then said, “Typing is a great skill to have. You can always use it to fall back on.”
Being able to type has been a blessing. While working on my novel and other writing projects, I’ve been able to secure secretarial and administrative positions because of that skill. Plus, since I am a writer, once I have an idea I don’t have to hen and peck. When my ideas start flowing, my fingers can keep up on the keys.
But what about using the skill of typing to fall back on? Can this skill or any skill that keeps food on the table and the bills paid and a roof over your head become more than just a backup plan?
There have been many times I have worked at companies where I could have made a conscious decision to stay. From secretarial, to admin, to coordinator and managerial positions my typing skills have helped me to grow.
I’ve met so many writers and other creative types who have just given up. Mainly, they took that skill that was only meant as a backup and turned it into a full-time job. That’s fine if what you are doing has become satisfying and you’re content. But what if it’s not and you’re stuck?
The word fall means to; drop, go down, plummet, collapse and descend. That’s why having a skill to fall back on is not always the best.
I wonder what my mother would say today. I’d like to think that she would feel that my skills of typing have served me well but it was time to use that typing skill to create a masterpiece.
If you have a desire to be a writer then make sure you do everything you can to become that writer. I’d rather struggle as a writer than to fall into a job. At least when you are struggling, you’re fighting or using some type of exertion to propel you to the next level. When you fall you just… fall
What have you fallen into?
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Monday, April 28, 2014
Fine-Tune Your Writing Voice
When I used to take singing lessons, my music teacher would play a chord on the piano and I had to make sure that the note coming out of me sounded exactly the same. It was fairly easy for me since I’d been singing in church and school at a very young age.
However, it became more challenging when I would perform. Since my shows consisted of songs from major artists, I wanted to stay true to the song but also include my own personality. But let’s be honest, unless you have a lot of your own material and a huge following, the audience is going to want to hear their favorite songs sung as close to the original and if you do anything different, you better make sure you bring it.
Being a writer is different. In school you may study legendary writers in Eng. Literature like Hemmingway and Virginia Wolfe or in Screenwriting classes like Robert Benton and Francis Ford Coppola but when you write that essay, etc., it should have your tone.
But how do you find your own voice?
As my Bishop says frequently, “You ask good questions on Sunday morning”
To be honest, I’m not sure if I have the answer to that. I’m all about studying my genre, not to copy but to see what’s selling. And if I had to take a stab at an answer, it could be as simple as writing, writing and writing. But I’d also like to believe that a lot of writing is mixed with that author's individual personality and character traits.
I wonder what my writing would have been like if I‘d started much earlier? When I was growing up I was quiet and shy and I didn’t say much unless I was spoken to. But the older I became, the more vocal I became.
Now, instead of being quiet, I’m more introspective (I like to people watch) and instead of shyness, I use wit to break the ice. And some may even say I can be a little dark but that trait I try to keep hidden and only pull it out when I’m writing. Over the years, I’ve been able to unbolt a lot of my inner voices.
So what do you need to unlock to find yours?
However, it became more challenging when I would perform. Since my shows consisted of songs from major artists, I wanted to stay true to the song but also include my own personality. But let’s be honest, unless you have a lot of your own material and a huge following, the audience is going to want to hear their favorite songs sung as close to the original and if you do anything different, you better make sure you bring it.
Being a writer is different. In school you may study legendary writers in Eng. Literature like Hemmingway and Virginia Wolfe or in Screenwriting classes like Robert Benton and Francis Ford Coppola but when you write that essay, etc., it should have your tone.
But how do you find your own voice?
As my Bishop says frequently, “You ask good questions on Sunday morning”
To be honest, I’m not sure if I have the answer to that. I’m all about studying my genre, not to copy but to see what’s selling. And if I had to take a stab at an answer, it could be as simple as writing, writing and writing. But I’d also like to believe that a lot of writing is mixed with that author's individual personality and character traits.
I wonder what my writing would have been like if I‘d started much earlier? When I was growing up I was quiet and shy and I didn’t say much unless I was spoken to. But the older I became, the more vocal I became.
Now, instead of being quiet, I’m more introspective (I like to people watch) and instead of shyness, I use wit to break the ice. And some may even say I can be a little dark but that trait I try to keep hidden and only pull it out when I’m writing. Over the years, I’ve been able to unbolt a lot of my inner voices.
So what do you need to unlock to find yours?
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Sell, Sell, Sell
A few days ago, a friend asked if I’d gotten into a routine now that I’ve been working from home (day 16). I said yes. That basically I do. I'm writing at least 4 to 6 hours a day and trying to stay off the couch. After a few rough patches, it’s been working just fine.
She said she understood that it’s probably challenging to sit at a computer every day and try to come up with something creative to write about. I told her that’s never really been my problem. Not that every time I sit down the words flow easily or that it even comes out perfectly the first time but usually if I have a day or less of lapse, eventually the words began to pour.
You see, I’ve been working on my writing(s): books, short stories, poetry and scripts for 10+ years and when I decided to finally leave my job, there was never a struggle on what I’d do first. I already had it mapped out:
a) Finish my romantic comedy (40 or more pages left to go)
b) Rework a ½ hour comedy pilot
c) Start querying for an agent (I’d use my 3 scripts and 1 spec already completed)
d) Work on the edits of the last 150 pages of my novel, and after that’s done;
e) Query literary agents (novel)
And after the above items are completed, I still have outlines for other book ideas and scripts that can take me into another 10 years, maybe even longer.
So what is the problem if I have all this writing just pouring out of me? I need to sell at least one of them. The words, ‘Sell, Sell, Sell’, dance in my head a lot and now that I’ve left my job, they replay in my head like a broken record.
This reminds me of two different films; the 1992 movie Glengarry, Glen Ross, a famous moving staring Jack Lemmon, Ed Harris and a very young, sexy, albeit heartless Alec Baldwin and the movie scene from Trading Places with Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd at the New York Stock Exchange.
One focused on the art of real estate (the ABCs – Always Be Closing) while the other focused on the rat race of selling stocks. Although different story lines, in the end both are lecturing on the same topics; if you don’t sell, you will lose.
At this point, I can’t afford to lose. I’ve been working since I was 16 and in corporate America since I was 21. That’s, blank, blank years (apologies if you were expecting to see a number) of working and not doing what I love. So I need to sell, sell, sell. How will I do that?
To be continued…
She said she understood that it’s probably challenging to sit at a computer every day and try to come up with something creative to write about. I told her that’s never really been my problem. Not that every time I sit down the words flow easily or that it even comes out perfectly the first time but usually if I have a day or less of lapse, eventually the words began to pour.
You see, I’ve been working on my writing(s): books, short stories, poetry and scripts for 10+ years and when I decided to finally leave my job, there was never a struggle on what I’d do first. I already had it mapped out:
a) Finish my romantic comedy (40 or more pages left to go)
b) Rework a ½ hour comedy pilot
c) Start querying for an agent (I’d use my 3 scripts and 1 spec already completed)
d) Work on the edits of the last 150 pages of my novel, and after that’s done;
e) Query literary agents (novel)
And after the above items are completed, I still have outlines for other book ideas and scripts that can take me into another 10 years, maybe even longer.
So what is the problem if I have all this writing just pouring out of me? I need to sell at least one of them. The words, ‘Sell, Sell, Sell’, dance in my head a lot and now that I’ve left my job, they replay in my head like a broken record.
This reminds me of two different films; the 1992 movie Glengarry, Glen Ross, a famous moving staring Jack Lemmon, Ed Harris and a very young, sexy, albeit heartless Alec Baldwin and the movie scene from Trading Places with Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd at the New York Stock Exchange.
One focused on the art of real estate (the ABCs – Always Be Closing) while the other focused on the rat race of selling stocks. Although different story lines, in the end both are lecturing on the same topics; if you don’t sell, you will lose.
At this point, I can’t afford to lose. I’ve been working since I was 16 and in corporate America since I was 21. That’s, blank, blank years (apologies if you were expecting to see a number) of working and not doing what I love. So I need to sell, sell, sell. How will I do that?
To be continued…
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
I Dont Get It!
A couple of weeks ago, I received an odd email from a friend of a friend that said, “I don’t get it,” referring to my blog. I thought about it for a few minutes or probably a little bit longer then I needed to. My first thought was that it felt rude. Why would someone send an email like that? After further reflection, I just shrugged it off.
I mean after all, she wasn’t very specific, she didn’t leave this comment on my blog and she didn’t reference any specific blog that I wrote and in the end it just left me wanting to throw the comment right back to her, “I don’t get it.”
It reminded me of the first short story I ever wrote. I had only dabbled in poetry and song lyrics but I’d never thought about writing anything beyond that. Never even considered poems or music lyrics as real writing but one night I had a dream that was so colorful and felt so real, I had to write it down.
I gave it to a coworker and after she read it she said, “I don’t get it.” I couldn’t understand why she would say that, so I went into this long explanation on what the story meant. A co-worker who happened to be listening said that if she didn’t get it, then maybe it wasn’t her and that maybe it was the way I had written the story.
For days I thought about what he’d said. He could be right. I mean after all, it was my first time writing anything like that.
But over 10 years later after studying the craft of writing at Cerritos College and LMU and not to mention the many, many stories I’ve written since—a couple of contests where I was quarter or semi finalist, the articles I’ve had published or the ones where I actually won for my writing—what does this comment now mean to me?
Not a lot. Why? Because there have been books I’ve read from famous writers or movies I’ve seen from established screenwriters that have made no sense to me and where I’ve said those same words, “I don’t get it.”
A few years back, I used to wear ties as belts and I remember a couple of people looking at me and making comments about how it looked weird. Then a couple of years later, I saw the style on an actor. I wear my hair natural because I just don’t want to straighten my hair anymore plus I just like the way I look. I wear blue eyeliner and mascara because I like how it looks on me instead of black. I’ve always danced to my own rhythm. People don’t always get that.
Different opinions, views, attitudes and beliefs make the world go round. I’m not saying that everything I write will be good and that it will be for everyone. I do value other people’s opinion—certain editors and writers and even friends who are critiquing my work in order to help my writing grow. But we also know people who never compliment anyone’s work no matter how good it is and people who are just plain negative.
Either way, my blog is not that deep. It’s a diary of a woman who has dreams of becoming a successful writer and the daily struggles that go along in making that dream come into fruition.
Not everyone understands someone else’s journey. They may not understand why you want to be a writer or why you quit that job. And they may never understand why you decided to move to another part of the world or why after all those years you’re returning back to school. There will always be many naysayers you will meet on your journey but just make sure they don’t try to jump on the bandwagon when you become a success.
I mean after all, she wasn’t very specific, she didn’t leave this comment on my blog and she didn’t reference any specific blog that I wrote and in the end it just left me wanting to throw the comment right back to her, “I don’t get it.”
It reminded me of the first short story I ever wrote. I had only dabbled in poetry and song lyrics but I’d never thought about writing anything beyond that. Never even considered poems or music lyrics as real writing but one night I had a dream that was so colorful and felt so real, I had to write it down.
I gave it to a coworker and after she read it she said, “I don’t get it.” I couldn’t understand why she would say that, so I went into this long explanation on what the story meant. A co-worker who happened to be listening said that if she didn’t get it, then maybe it wasn’t her and that maybe it was the way I had written the story.
For days I thought about what he’d said. He could be right. I mean after all, it was my first time writing anything like that.
But over 10 years later after studying the craft of writing at Cerritos College and LMU and not to mention the many, many stories I’ve written since—a couple of contests where I was quarter or semi finalist, the articles I’ve had published or the ones where I actually won for my writing—what does this comment now mean to me?
Not a lot. Why? Because there have been books I’ve read from famous writers or movies I’ve seen from established screenwriters that have made no sense to me and where I’ve said those same words, “I don’t get it.”
A few years back, I used to wear ties as belts and I remember a couple of people looking at me and making comments about how it looked weird. Then a couple of years later, I saw the style on an actor. I wear my hair natural because I just don’t want to straighten my hair anymore plus I just like the way I look. I wear blue eyeliner and mascara because I like how it looks on me instead of black. I’ve always danced to my own rhythm. People don’t always get that.
Different opinions, views, attitudes and beliefs make the world go round. I’m not saying that everything I write will be good and that it will be for everyone. I do value other people’s opinion—certain editors and writers and even friends who are critiquing my work in order to help my writing grow. But we also know people who never compliment anyone’s work no matter how good it is and people who are just plain negative.
Either way, my blog is not that deep. It’s a diary of a woman who has dreams of becoming a successful writer and the daily struggles that go along in making that dream come into fruition.
Not everyone understands someone else’s journey. They may not understand why you want to be a writer or why you quit that job. And they may never understand why you decided to move to another part of the world or why after all those years you’re returning back to school. There will always be many naysayers you will meet on your journey but just make sure they don’t try to jump on the bandwagon when you become a success.
Monday, April 21, 2014
Seasons - Getting Rid of Crap or Spring Cleaning
Spring cleaning is a nice way to say that you need to get rid of crap once a year. When I was living in New York, it seemed spring cleaning was more out of necessity. During the winter months, there is a need for bulky clothes and boots, quilts and electric blankets and other winter provisions. As soon as there is a touch of warmth in the air, it’s time to throw out and pack away these items so you can prepare for the spring and summer months.
When I lived in New York, I had a small studio apartment and because of its size, I had a lot of clutter in many corners. At least I told myself that was the reason for the mass collection of stuff. But the truth is I may be a bit of a hoarder. Not as bad as some of the people on the show, Hoarder, but there have been times when it’s gotten out of hand.
Since moving to California, I’ve moved 8 or 9 times and with each move my car has become a place of storage for some of my smaller items. I try to have enough space in my trunk where I can place my groceries but because I am constantly writing and rewriting and editing and redrafting (I knows it’s not eco-friendly but I need to see my writing on paper in order to do any type of edits) my trunk gets even more cluttered. It reminds me of the old fridge my parents had. You know the ones I mean? They didn’t have the no-frost technology yet and the longer you waited to defrost, the more the ice would accumulate. Eventually, you had to do a manual defrost because you couldn’t fit anything else in the freezer.
When I left my job, I decided to do some spring cleaning in my car. While flipping through some of my old writings, I had mixed emotions. Several of my writings were good and I couldn’t believe it came from me. Truly God had been with me. But then there were others that stunk. I couldn’t help to wonder what I was thinking at the time. I also wondered why I was so obsessed with verbs and adjectives.
Hoarding may not be healthy but I do think that holding onto some of your old writings, at least for awhile, can be educational. You can see where you’ve grown and not make the same mistakes. Old writings can also inspire you to come up with a new twist. But I think the jewel to going through your old writing is coming across old rejection letters.
As writers we are told to never throw away these letters. At first, I never understood why. I mean, they are reminders from publishers and agents whom we respected enough to send them our writings, that we are not good enough.
But then I’ve read stories of writers like John Grisham and Kathryn Stockett who were rejected. And writers we not only grew up reading but who we studied in classes like English lit. Writers like, Plath, Kipling, Dickinson and Hemingway.
So although I’ve promised myself to no longer be a hoarder, there will be some items I will keep like those rejects. At least until I get that ‘YES’ letter in the mail.
When I lived in New York, I had a small studio apartment and because of its size, I had a lot of clutter in many corners. At least I told myself that was the reason for the mass collection of stuff. But the truth is I may be a bit of a hoarder. Not as bad as some of the people on the show, Hoarder, but there have been times when it’s gotten out of hand.
Since moving to California, I’ve moved 8 or 9 times and with each move my car has become a place of storage for some of my smaller items. I try to have enough space in my trunk where I can place my groceries but because I am constantly writing and rewriting and editing and redrafting (I knows it’s not eco-friendly but I need to see my writing on paper in order to do any type of edits) my trunk gets even more cluttered. It reminds me of the old fridge my parents had. You know the ones I mean? They didn’t have the no-frost technology yet and the longer you waited to defrost, the more the ice would accumulate. Eventually, you had to do a manual defrost because you couldn’t fit anything else in the freezer.
When I left my job, I decided to do some spring cleaning in my car. While flipping through some of my old writings, I had mixed emotions. Several of my writings were good and I couldn’t believe it came from me. Truly God had been with me. But then there were others that stunk. I couldn’t help to wonder what I was thinking at the time. I also wondered why I was so obsessed with verbs and adjectives.
Hoarding may not be healthy but I do think that holding onto some of your old writings, at least for awhile, can be educational. You can see where you’ve grown and not make the same mistakes. Old writings can also inspire you to come up with a new twist. But I think the jewel to going through your old writing is coming across old rejection letters.
As writers we are told to never throw away these letters. At first, I never understood why. I mean, they are reminders from publishers and agents whom we respected enough to send them our writings, that we are not good enough.
But then I’ve read stories of writers like John Grisham and Kathryn Stockett who were rejected. And writers we not only grew up reading but who we studied in classes like English lit. Writers like, Plath, Kipling, Dickinson and Hemingway.
So although I’ve promised myself to no longer be a hoarder, there will be some items I will keep like those rejects. At least until I get that ‘YES’ letter in the mail.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Bring in the Noise, Bring in the Funk
My neighbor who lives above me is home today. Why is that a big deal? Because as nice as my neighbor is, he has the walk of a Sasquatch and I’m worried I won’t be able to get much done today if he’s stumping around.
I’m sure most or all writers have an idea writing place or spot where they can go to write. Some need music, some have to use earphones. There may be some who can only write at a sea shore while others need to be in an isolated location in the mountains to get the juices flowing.
My preference would be sitting in the living room of my 3 bedroom loft, my laptop cradled on my lap where I lie cozily on my lounger. And every now and then when I look up, I can see the sun glistening off the ocean’s waves outside my huge bay window. One day…
I love writing when the world is still, and the sky is a tinge of indigo and there is calmness around me. I’ve been writing for over 10 years now and during those years, I’ve lived at 8 are 9 different apartments, worked about the same amount of jobs and I’ve been able to write in most of those places. I’ve written at the lowest and most painful times of my life.
During a Sex and the City episode, one of the characters, Charlotte, was trying acupuncture, a traditional Chinese procedure, that some believe can cure a number of symptoms. I’m a big believer. With the needle method, which is the one Charlotte’s character was doing, the doctor may leave you in a dark or soft lit room so that you can breathe deeply, relax and hopefully free your mind.
Charlotte’s doctor’s office was in the middle of Manhattan and if anyone knows anything about the city, it never sleeps. She had a hard time letting go and she kept complaining to the doctor about the noise. Eventually he told her that she had to learn how to relax no matter what was going on in and around her life.
The same thing is necessary when writing. You may not ever have the right place or the right time to write. Sometime you got’ a block out the noise and the funk and just do it.
I’m sure most or all writers have an idea writing place or spot where they can go to write. Some need music, some have to use earphones. There may be some who can only write at a sea shore while others need to be in an isolated location in the mountains to get the juices flowing.
My preference would be sitting in the living room of my 3 bedroom loft, my laptop cradled on my lap where I lie cozily on my lounger. And every now and then when I look up, I can see the sun glistening off the ocean’s waves outside my huge bay window. One day…
I love writing when the world is still, and the sky is a tinge of indigo and there is calmness around me. I’ve been writing for over 10 years now and during those years, I’ve lived at 8 are 9 different apartments, worked about the same amount of jobs and I’ve been able to write in most of those places. I’ve written at the lowest and most painful times of my life.
During a Sex and the City episode, one of the characters, Charlotte, was trying acupuncture, a traditional Chinese procedure, that some believe can cure a number of symptoms. I’m a big believer. With the needle method, which is the one Charlotte’s character was doing, the doctor may leave you in a dark or soft lit room so that you can breathe deeply, relax and hopefully free your mind.
Charlotte’s doctor’s office was in the middle of Manhattan and if anyone knows anything about the city, it never sleeps. She had a hard time letting go and she kept complaining to the doctor about the noise. Eventually he told her that she had to learn how to relax no matter what was going on in and around her life.
The same thing is necessary when writing. You may not ever have the right place or the right time to write. Sometime you got’ a block out the noise and the funk and just do it.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Help a Sistah Out!
It’s been a week and a day since I left my job. I now have everything in place to write. My Internet, laptop, printer and phone are working properly.
This is the day I’ve committed to start writing. I’ve done all of the organizing, ran all my errands, have searched the Internet for great deals and have watched enough television. No more excuses. It’s time to start on my projects.
But of course there is always something to take you off track. As I sat down to work on my script and inserted my Final Draft CD (6.0) into the CD driver, it wouldn’t work. This is a problem since I’m not ready to shell out another $200 for an upgraded version.
After getting frustrated and feeling stressed for a few minutes, I went online and did some shop comparisons. Instead of shelling out for the newest version 9.0, I would settle for 7 or 8. But those are still quite high.
But low and behold, I noticed a link for free 30-day trial download. I’m saved. So I’m back in business.
There are so many creative people in the world. Whether you want to be a singer, screenwriter or author, the price to attend special programs, to buy tools or software, attend classes, or even entering contests can become very pricey.
And unfortunately there are so many programs out there that know there are people like me who are trying to break into the biz and they constantly increase their prices with each change of the seasons. It’s a little sad but it’s the world we live in.
Is 6.0 better than 9.0? I don’t really see a difference. Maybe for the real hardcore screenwriters but I don’t need all those bells and whistles. I’m just a writer who wants to make sure my format is right, that there is enough white-space in my script and I spelled everything correctly but most of all that my script is good.
Unlike when using PowerPoint (my favorite software btw—good job Microsoft) where I can use transitions, slideshows and fancy fonts, my screenplay and even my fiction writing has to fit the industries standard; courier, 12pt, 1.5 inch margins, etc.
Today is tax day and there are all types of companies offering discounts and freebies. It would be ever so nice if Apple, Microsoft, and the telephone companies would jump on board.
After all, who couldn’t benefit from a discount? Come on guys; help a sistah out once in awhile.
PS: I think I'll head over to Boston Market. They got a good chicken dinner deal.
This is the day I’ve committed to start writing. I’ve done all of the organizing, ran all my errands, have searched the Internet for great deals and have watched enough television. No more excuses. It’s time to start on my projects.
But of course there is always something to take you off track. As I sat down to work on my script and inserted my Final Draft CD (6.0) into the CD driver, it wouldn’t work. This is a problem since I’m not ready to shell out another $200 for an upgraded version.
After getting frustrated and feeling stressed for a few minutes, I went online and did some shop comparisons. Instead of shelling out for the newest version 9.0, I would settle for 7 or 8. But those are still quite high.
But low and behold, I noticed a link for free 30-day trial download. I’m saved. So I’m back in business.
There are so many creative people in the world. Whether you want to be a singer, screenwriter or author, the price to attend special programs, to buy tools or software, attend classes, or even entering contests can become very pricey.
And unfortunately there are so many programs out there that know there are people like me who are trying to break into the biz and they constantly increase their prices with each change of the seasons. It’s a little sad but it’s the world we live in.
Is 6.0 better than 9.0? I don’t really see a difference. Maybe for the real hardcore screenwriters but I don’t need all those bells and whistles. I’m just a writer who wants to make sure my format is right, that there is enough white-space in my script and I spelled everything correctly but most of all that my script is good.
Unlike when using PowerPoint (my favorite software btw—good job Microsoft) where I can use transitions, slideshows and fancy fonts, my screenplay and even my fiction writing has to fit the industries standard; courier, 12pt, 1.5 inch margins, etc.
Today is tax day and there are all types of companies offering discounts and freebies. It would be ever so nice if Apple, Microsoft, and the telephone companies would jump on board.
After all, who couldn’t benefit from a discount? Come on guys; help a sistah out once in awhile.
PS: I think I'll head over to Boston Market. They got a good chicken dinner deal.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Stepping Out - III
I was talking to an ex-coworker a couple of weeks ago about her breakup. It had been a few weeks but she was still going thru withdrawals. Since they had lived together for awhile, she now had problems being at home alone. She was constantly living inside her head—meaning she couldn’t stop the negative voices.
As an only child, I knew firsthand what she met. I am constantly in my head (happy, sad and sometimes crazy thoughts) and as a writer it becomes more so than the norm. I continued to listen as she said, “Work is a welcome diversion.”
That threw me. I thought I was the only one who felt that way. I knew what it meant to use work as a distraction. No one had ever said that to me before. I thought I was the only one who felt like that and I was always ashamed to admit it to anyone for fear of people feeling sorry for me.
For the last 4 years, I used work as a diversion. I’d stay late and come in on the weekends and although people would scold me for working long hours and weekends, I welcomed the moments where I wasn’t sitting at home. I’d get home about 9ish, eat dinner and watch a little comedy and two hours later I’m in bed asleep and able to shut out the world and not have to think about life for 7—9 hours.
Not to say I don’t have friends. I have plenty and get invited to my share of social events. But it’s easier to stay home, lie on the couch and not move until you have to.
I grew up mostly as an only child. That probably doesn’t make sense to most but I’m not in the mood to explain what ‘grew up mostly’ means right now. Suffice it to say, I can be comfortable spending time with myself. I’m sure some would say too comfy. But I also love to be surrounded by people.
I recently had a friend stop by and drop off a CD and when I asked where they were going they said they had to run some errands.
I jokingly asked if I could tag along. You see, I know my friend and I could tell he wanted some alone time. But for a few minutes after they left, I felt alone and the thought of traveling only a few feet to an office every day depressed me.
Unless you have a writing partner, it’s a lonely talent. It’s what I love and hate about writing. I think the loneliness part of writing scares me the most about my new season. But it’s also what makes me a great writer. And once I’m able to share my writing with the world, I know that part of the loneliness will disappear. I can’t wait.
As an only child, I knew firsthand what she met. I am constantly in my head (happy, sad and sometimes crazy thoughts) and as a writer it becomes more so than the norm. I continued to listen as she said, “Work is a welcome diversion.”
That threw me. I thought I was the only one who felt that way. I knew what it meant to use work as a distraction. No one had ever said that to me before. I thought I was the only one who felt like that and I was always ashamed to admit it to anyone for fear of people feeling sorry for me.
For the last 4 years, I used work as a diversion. I’d stay late and come in on the weekends and although people would scold me for working long hours and weekends, I welcomed the moments where I wasn’t sitting at home. I’d get home about 9ish, eat dinner and watch a little comedy and two hours later I’m in bed asleep and able to shut out the world and not have to think about life for 7—9 hours.
Not to say I don’t have friends. I have plenty and get invited to my share of social events. But it’s easier to stay home, lie on the couch and not move until you have to.
I grew up mostly as an only child. That probably doesn’t make sense to most but I’m not in the mood to explain what ‘grew up mostly’ means right now. Suffice it to say, I can be comfortable spending time with myself. I’m sure some would say too comfy. But I also love to be surrounded by people.
I recently had a friend stop by and drop off a CD and when I asked where they were going they said they had to run some errands.
I jokingly asked if I could tag along. You see, I know my friend and I could tell he wanted some alone time. But for a few minutes after they left, I felt alone and the thought of traveling only a few feet to an office every day depressed me.
Unless you have a writing partner, it’s a lonely talent. It’s what I love and hate about writing. I think the loneliness part of writing scares me the most about my new season. But it’s also what makes me a great writer. And once I’m able to share my writing with the world, I know that part of the loneliness will disappear. I can’t wait.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Stepping Out - Part II
I left my job less than a week ago. A company I’d been with for 6 years and two days. A job where I made a comfortable salary and worked with some of the most incredible people I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with in my corporate career.
Yup. I stepped out. Now what?
During my 6 week notice (instead of the standard 2), I was constantly asked if I was excited about leaving. I think most people expected me to jump up and down and say, “Hells yes.” But I couldn’t. I was tired and stressed.
One, I’ve always had problems sleeping but it had now gotten to only 3 to 4 hours a night. I couldn’t believe I had given notice. What the heck was I doin’? Two, I wanted to make sure I got all my work done to make it easier for the next person(s). It took a village to do my job even though in the last 2 years, it had become a department of 1 and I needed to train that village. Three, did I have enough money saved? And 4, what if I failed?
Another question that was asked--, “What will be the first thing you’ll do when you leave…” For that, I gave the standard answer. I’m going to write. But for my close friends and family who needed more, I gave a detailed outline; mediation and prayer in the morning, workout for 30-40 minutes every other day, write 2 hours in the morning and 2 in the afternoon with the goal of getting up to 6 hours a day of writing. Most days, I’ll stay home and once or twice a week to keep it exciting, I’ll go to a coffee house or library.
But I have to be honest. An outline is just that, an outline. Like my writing, I can outline a story from the beginning to the end but when I began to write, it never comes out the way I expected.
I’ve been here before and working at home is a struggle. For the first few days, you start counting the money and wondering how long it will last because you realize it takes money to have a home office. I needed a new cell, a home phone, printer and the Internet. Plus, I wanted to make sure my place was not only desirable for me to want to work 24/7 but for people to come and visit.
For the first few days I had a burst of energy and began cleaning and organizing my work space-- throwing out the old with hopes of bringing in the new.
A couple of days later I started noticing that I was visiting the fridge a lot then--
I need to interrupt my writing flow to ask a question?
Why when you are on a budget does it feel like you can’t get enough to eat and you start craving everything?
--I started sitting on my couch a lot and turning on the television.
“I’ll just watch a little.”
A couple of hours later... I can start tomorrow. Then tomorrow turns to Monday.
I’ve been leaving my job to write for 6 years and 2 days basically the day I started. I stressed when the Head of Production told me that they wanted to hire me permanently and I cried when I had to write work goals for the first time in 8 years (I’d been a temp forever when I moved to Cali). I would have to lie and make up goals for a job I didn’t want (I don’t like lying) but needed. Plus, I was fearful that this would be it for me.
Nevertheless for 4 years, I wrote goals and went through performance reviews and became a fixture in the company. And during those years, I began to like what I did. I grew in my position, learned and was promoted but mostly I fell in love with the people I worked with.
During my 4th year I began to feel a shift and for awhile I tried hard to get back to how I felt those initial years. But the more I tried to bring myself back, the more I kept hitting a wall. I’m all about signs and I knew what they were telling me. It was time to go.
So for two years, I prayed, fasted, meditated and read and reread affirmations until finally I was able to release, to let go and to let God. I left.
Now, here I am. And God help me I am terrified. I’m right at the beginning with no idea on how it will end.
Stay tuned…
Yup. I stepped out. Now what?
During my 6 week notice (instead of the standard 2), I was constantly asked if I was excited about leaving. I think most people expected me to jump up and down and say, “Hells yes.” But I couldn’t. I was tired and stressed.
One, I’ve always had problems sleeping but it had now gotten to only 3 to 4 hours a night. I couldn’t believe I had given notice. What the heck was I doin’? Two, I wanted to make sure I got all my work done to make it easier for the next person(s). It took a village to do my job even though in the last 2 years, it had become a department of 1 and I needed to train that village. Three, did I have enough money saved? And 4, what if I failed?
Another question that was asked--, “What will be the first thing you’ll do when you leave…” For that, I gave the standard answer. I’m going to write. But for my close friends and family who needed more, I gave a detailed outline; mediation and prayer in the morning, workout for 30-40 minutes every other day, write 2 hours in the morning and 2 in the afternoon with the goal of getting up to 6 hours a day of writing. Most days, I’ll stay home and once or twice a week to keep it exciting, I’ll go to a coffee house or library.
But I have to be honest. An outline is just that, an outline. Like my writing, I can outline a story from the beginning to the end but when I began to write, it never comes out the way I expected.
I’ve been here before and working at home is a struggle. For the first few days, you start counting the money and wondering how long it will last because you realize it takes money to have a home office. I needed a new cell, a home phone, printer and the Internet. Plus, I wanted to make sure my place was not only desirable for me to want to work 24/7 but for people to come and visit.
For the first few days I had a burst of energy and began cleaning and organizing my work space-- throwing out the old with hopes of bringing in the new.
A couple of days later I started noticing that I was visiting the fridge a lot then--
I need to interrupt my writing flow to ask a question?
Why when you are on a budget does it feel like you can’t get enough to eat and you start craving everything?
--I started sitting on my couch a lot and turning on the television.
“I’ll just watch a little.”
A couple of hours later... I can start tomorrow. Then tomorrow turns to Monday.
I’ve been leaving my job to write for 6 years and 2 days basically the day I started. I stressed when the Head of Production told me that they wanted to hire me permanently and I cried when I had to write work goals for the first time in 8 years (I’d been a temp forever when I moved to Cali). I would have to lie and make up goals for a job I didn’t want (I don’t like lying) but needed. Plus, I was fearful that this would be it for me.
Nevertheless for 4 years, I wrote goals and went through performance reviews and became a fixture in the company. And during those years, I began to like what I did. I grew in my position, learned and was promoted but mostly I fell in love with the people I worked with.
During my 4th year I began to feel a shift and for awhile I tried hard to get back to how I felt those initial years. But the more I tried to bring myself back, the more I kept hitting a wall. I’m all about signs and I knew what they were telling me. It was time to go.
So for two years, I prayed, fasted, meditated and read and reread affirmations until finally I was able to release, to let go and to let God. I left.
Now, here I am. And God help me I am terrified. I’m right at the beginning with no idea on how it will end.
Stay tuned…
Friday, April 11, 2014
Stepping Out On Faith, Part I
February 10, 2012. It was the last time I’d written anything on my blog. I remember being so excited about that last post. I was going to market my non-fiction book, Seasons of Writing. After all, it took work to write it, I already had it up and running on Amazon, I enjoyed writing it and I thought it was a good first try coming out the gate. But mostly, I felt it would be helpful to other writers.
My strategy was perfect. I would visit local bookstores, hit up a few book clubs and create a KickStarter fund to raise money to get more books printed. I began with finding the perfect bookstore. I reached out to an old acquaintance that I used to work with who had a friend who just opened a bookstore in Manhattan Beach. After a bunch of calls and emails to one of the owners, I was finally sent a waiver which I excitedly signed. In a couple of days, I was on my way to Manhattan Beach with my little 28-page book. Unfortunately, after meeting the owner, she didn’t seem overly excited about me or my book and I left feeling let down that my small but powerful book would be tucked away into Never-Never Land—tossed in a corner where no one would be able to see it.
Not one to stay down too long, I looked to KickStarter. I would start a fund to get more books printed so I could go to other bookstores that would hopefully make me feel more welcomed. I created a beautiful PowerPoint slide with music and VO (voiceover). Thirty days later and 40 bucks richer (it might have been less) I realized that I am not the kind of person to reach out to my friends to ask for help in funding my own project. I mean why should they? Forget about all the other people I knew who’ve raised thousands of dollars for their projects. But was that the reason or was my book just not that interesting?
Two years later and I haven’t done much with my book and I can’t remember why. Did I get discouraged? Did I become too busy with work? And what happened to writing on my blog daily? After all, I kept telling myself and others that I wanted to be a writer. And if that’s true what’s the holdup? Don’t get me wrong. I’ve definitely done a ton of writing between 2012 and now. I got myself an editor for my novel. I took a class on screenwriting at UCLA. I wrote a pilot. I finished a screenplay and started work on another. I’ve entered numerous contests; submitting short stories and screenplays. I’ve accomplished a lot. But with all that, I still haven’t been able to break into that career called ‘writer’ that I so desire. So what did I do next? Stay tunned for part II of Stepping Out...
My strategy was perfect. I would visit local bookstores, hit up a few book clubs and create a KickStarter fund to raise money to get more books printed. I began with finding the perfect bookstore. I reached out to an old acquaintance that I used to work with who had a friend who just opened a bookstore in Manhattan Beach. After a bunch of calls and emails to one of the owners, I was finally sent a waiver which I excitedly signed. In a couple of days, I was on my way to Manhattan Beach with my little 28-page book. Unfortunately, after meeting the owner, she didn’t seem overly excited about me or my book and I left feeling let down that my small but powerful book would be tucked away into Never-Never Land—tossed in a corner where no one would be able to see it.
Not one to stay down too long, I looked to KickStarter. I would start a fund to get more books printed so I could go to other bookstores that would hopefully make me feel more welcomed. I created a beautiful PowerPoint slide with music and VO (voiceover). Thirty days later and 40 bucks richer (it might have been less) I realized that I am not the kind of person to reach out to my friends to ask for help in funding my own project. I mean why should they? Forget about all the other people I knew who’ve raised thousands of dollars for their projects. But was that the reason or was my book just not that interesting?
Two years later and I haven’t done much with my book and I can’t remember why. Did I get discouraged? Did I become too busy with work? And what happened to writing on my blog daily? After all, I kept telling myself and others that I wanted to be a writer. And if that’s true what’s the holdup? Don’t get me wrong. I’ve definitely done a ton of writing between 2012 and now. I got myself an editor for my novel. I took a class on screenwriting at UCLA. I wrote a pilot. I finished a screenplay and started work on another. I’ve entered numerous contests; submitting short stories and screenplays. I’ve accomplished a lot. But with all that, I still haven’t been able to break into that career called ‘writer’ that I so desire. So what did I do next? Stay tunned for part II of Stepping Out...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)