I grew up as an only child, so for the most part, I've always managed to entertain myself. My parents liked to take long road trips on the weekends, and often we would end up at a place that had nothing but adults so I had to find ways to keep from being bored.
As I became older, and started working in corporate America, I found that companies wanted someone who was a team player, so I had to conform. And when I eventually wanted a career instead of a job, my first choice was to become a singer. However, whether you're a part of a group or a soloist, you're never alone. You're either surrounded by background singers or musicians and of course your audience.
But when you decide that you want to have a career as a writer, you've probably come to the realization that there will be many days and nights of isolation and unless you've decided to co-write a novel or a screenplay, being alone is the standard existence for writers.
Because I grew up as an only child, the thought of being isolated when I decided to switch my career goals to writing did not bother me in the least. I can't write when there are others around, because I need complete peace. Often I may stay at work when everyone leaves instead of going home. My friends constantly ask me why I choose to write at work and when I try to explain to them that the constant walking of my neighbors above me, the passing by of loud music from cars, the sound of music or television coming from a neighbor's apartment or even children playing on the streets can become a distraction for me, some don't get it.
So mostly I crave the loneliness, but there are a few times where it becomes unendurable leaving me a little gloomy.
That's when my characters come alive and I spend hours with them and eventually they become my best friends and the loneliness disappears.
So next time you find yourself getting a little dispirited from your writing seclusion, talk to your characters. Just like spending time with your friends and family, it can help you find out many things about them including; their personalities, traits, likes and dislikes and basically what makes them who they are. Then the solitude will disappear and as a bonus you'll end up with richer and more rounded characters.
How do you handle the loneliness of writing?
3 comments:
I found myself starting to write in 2000. It was not my idea any, but God used it as apart of my healing process. Today I stand before you healed! To be a writer, never in my dreams. I find in isolation there is quiteness. In iolsation I hear His voice telling me what to write. It becomes a poem, an inspirational piece I couldn't have gotten on my own. I find peace in the loneliness.
I deal with isolation a lot as well in my work. It only becomes unbearable if I stay indoors too long or neglect to bathe because of not wanting to interrupt "the flow", as it goes. I have to force myself to get up and get out on the bike or walk down to the beach... there I can still be alone and still work on my art (keep the flow), at least conceptually. The element that keeps the isolation bearable is nature/outdoors for me. Like you, I very much enjoy getting lost in my imagination, which only comes with significant isolation! I just have to remind myself to shower and eat sometimes ;)
I am also an only child. My parents were older when I finally decided to grace them with my presence (ha!), so I grew up needing to entertain myself when they visited friends.
It made me strong and able to function on my own. I also understand the need for solitude.
But there are times when even this old "only" just can't quite hack that solitude. That's when I get into the car and head to the grocery store, coffee shop, mall, or wherever there are people doing their thing. I don't necessarily want to talk to anyone, I just need to know there are other folks on the planet and I'm not truly all alone.
Or I call my daughter and pester her for a while.
After that, I can get back to visiting with my characters and letting the words flow again.
Post a Comment