The Joy of Rejections

I think most people would be able to relate to being rejected. We learn it at such an early age—we’re hurt when we are not invited to eat with the cool kids at their table for lunch, when we hear they are having the party of the year but we never received an invite/evite, when we audition for that part in the school play and our best friend gets it instead or when that girl who says no when you invite her to the high school prom. But they’re growing pains of adolescents and we eventually get over these types of rebuffs.

When we get older, rejection can become a little bit harder to come to grips with. That job or promotion that we worked our asses off to get only to be told we don’t have what it takes. That expensive engagement ring you brought only to be told, in the nicest way of course, that they can’t see themselves spending the rest of their life with you. That Broadway call-back that you didn’t get (btw, that happened to me). But how do you come back from that?

I’ve heard a few writers comment that the reason why they never send out their manuscripts is because they are scared of rejection. But my question to them is why even bother writing?

I am not new to being rejected. As a one-time singer, I had my share of sending out demos and most of the ones I sent out, I never even got so much as a form letter but I think that’s how it is in the music industry. Rude!

But when you send out query letters to literary agents and you get rejects, at least you are not left hanging. Most will send you a form letter. Some may even send you a personal note. But a reject letter is a reject letter no matter how it’s stated. Even if that letter says you have potential. The only thing we see is the: but, however and nevertheless. It all spells rejection to us.

So why should we continue to write? That is a very good question. I’m sure if my friends, family and associates knew how many rejects that I have received over the years, they would think I was crazy and probably tell me to give up.

I can give you a list of established writers who’ve received many reject letters before they got that yes but you know it’s not about that. It’s about believing that I do have that gift called writing. That I am a damn good writer and I know I will get that contract.

Rejection letters just make me stronger. When I get that yes, I’ll be able to say, “See, I told ya I was good.” Of course if you knew me, you would know I couldn’t do that. I’m not a ‘told ya so’ type of person. But if I don’t believe in myself and I believe what those letters say, then I will fail as a writer and I will end up like many of those other writers—having a draw full of scripts and books that no one is ever going to see and to me that would be a waste. I’m not ready to give up yet.

How many rejects would you be able to handle before you decided to quit?