I’ve wanted to write a blog on fear for awhile. Fear is such an important makeup of our lives. We learn to be fearful early. As children, we are fearless: running, playing and experimenting. But then we hear our parent’s voices saying things like, do not touch, you’re running too fast or come into the house before it gets dark. They are fearful that we could get hurt. I remember my mother would repeatedly tell me when we were in the car to lock my door. “I don’t want anyone to snatch you,” she’d say. I now repeat the same to my friends when they are in my car.
As we get older, there are fears that can cripple us. I remember watching a Seinfeld episode. During his standup, one of his jokes began with him reading about a public poll that was taken on fear. The number one fear was public speaking and two, death. The running joke was that the average person would rather be dead then being the person doing the eulogy.
During the time I was pursuing a singing career, I had a good friend say to me that they felt that if I became successful, that I would change in a bad way. Although I couldn’t imagine that happening, I was fearful that if I did become successful, I would lose my friends. Now that I’m older, I don’t worry about that anymore. One, because that was their fear not mine and two, I’m pretty solid of who I am.
But as a writer I do have a couple of things I am fearful of—rejection and what success could mean for me. I’ve given up a lot when I left my job. Getting rejects when you have money coming in is not good but at least you know that you’re still getting a check and you can pay your bills. Getting reject notices when you know that ‘yes’ means everything, is a whole new ballgame and it can be crippling. Meaning, it can stop you from finishing those last couple of pages to that book or screenplay. It can keep you from tackling writing projects or genres that you’re not comfortable with because you might suck. And just because I was bold enough to leave my job, doesn’t mean I’m bold enough to take the next step.
My car was recently broken into. They stole my iPod, beats by Dre earphones (both were presents) and my house keys and although these things can be replaced, my peace was gone. For days, I had problems sleeping because the place where I always felt safe (my home) was now replaced with fear. Fear that they could enter my house even though the locks were changed. I was fearful of the unknown because I didn’t know if it was someone who lived or even worked in my complex.
Nevertheless, I am not the type of person that lets fear or anything else stand in my way for too long. At this specific time in my life, I can’t afford to let it stop me or even delay the work that I need to get done. So even though I’m afraid of rejection, I need to finish that screenplay and that book. And even though I may be afraid of success because it will take me out of my comfort zone; I might have to travel, meet different people and more importantly if that book and/or screenplay becomes successful, I will need to prove that it the first one wasn’t a fluke, I need to keep pushing.
What are your fears keeping you from achieving in your life?
No comments:
Post a Comment