Empathy For All Seasons

Until I sell a script or sign a contract, I have to constantly keep myself on a tight budget. Although I’m a big fan of television, I can’t afford the luxury of outlets like Hulu, Nexflix or Amazon. I don’t even splurge for cable. But I don’t mind because basic TV has been amazing for the last couple of years. But unfortunately, I still have to deal with the commercials.

Most of the time I’m okay but there are exceptions. Take for instance this one commercial where a camera pans on a beautiful woman wearing a flowing dress lying across a king-sized bed (don’t most of them start out that way these days?) Then a sultry female voiceover plays and for 8-seconds you’re not sure what she’s selling until the name of the product displays on the screen. By then the target audience (in this case men), are so intrigued by her, they don’t care that this item may cause complications including death. Just as long as this supposed product could get him a woman like the one on the screen, it’s all-good. Now normally when a commercial like this comes on, I either go for a bathroom or kitchen run. But once in a while, one resonates with me.

Recently, a product for migraines ran a study where friends and family could feel what their loves ones go through when experiencing these kinds of headaches. They can’t simulate the pain, however, they’re able to see what affects sensitivity, light, and sound, etc., can have on a person with this condition. As one sufferer stated, “Sometimes you have to experience it (the pain) in order to get it.” Something about this woman’s comment and the concept of this study stayed with me.

I recently got into a heated discussion about my writing with someone who has basically been with me since the beginning of this process. This person made me feel that what I was doing—all the evenings, nights, missed events, financial struggles, the rejects (some kind and some brutal) were worth nothing because at the end of the day—at the end of all these years, I have nothing to show for it. Not…one…red…cent. These words cut me deeply.

I get that my friends have concerns. I know that it gets frustrating for them when they want me to hang out but I don’t because I rather write. I get that they worry about me being able to supplement my income while I write. I even get that they worry that by me sitting at a desk for hours—often without even moving to eat, drink or go to the bathroom—that this may be harmful. But I never once believed that any of them thought that what I was doing was worthless.

Using an example like a migraine might be a stretch but I used this analogy so that maybe we could understand what true empathy means; Identifying and understanding what someone else may be feeling or going through. What it takes for someone to sacrifice for a passion—a dream, a goal. Because when artists create, they’re alone. And because of the loneliness, we often need our friends and family to mentally support us.

I may write for the rest of my life without any financial success. But at least I know that I gave it everything I had. Yes, I pray that one day I’ll make a living with my writing but I also know that if someone offered to publish my writing today with out offering me a dime, I’d still do it. Because I love it that much.

So, I hope that if you have friends or family that are striving to be an artists, encourage them. Put yourself in their shoes. Because even though art can often be lonely, knowing that there are people around you that are empathetic to what you are trying to achieve and sympathetic to what it takes out of a person to work hard on a goal, means a hell of a lot.

To all my friends who continue to encourage me, I love and thank you. To the others________. Well, you may not be writers but I’m sure you can fill in the blank.