Empathy For All Seasons

Until I sell a script or sign a contract, I have to constantly keep myself on a tight budget. Although I’m a big fan of television, I can’t afford the luxury of outlets like Hulu, Nexflix or Amazon. I don’t even splurge for cable. But I don’t mind because basic TV has been amazing for the last couple of years. But unfortunately, I still have to deal with the commercials.

Most of the time I’m okay but there are exceptions. Take for instance this one commercial where a camera pans on a beautiful woman wearing a flowing dress lying across a king-sized bed (don’t most of them start out that way these days?) Then a sultry female voiceover plays and for 8-seconds you’re not sure what she’s selling until the name of the product displays on the screen. By then the target audience (in this case men), are so intrigued by her, they don’t care that this item may cause complications including death. Just as long as this supposed product could get him a woman like the one on the screen, it’s all-good. Now normally when a commercial like this comes on, I either go for a bathroom or kitchen run. But once in a while, one resonates with me.

Recently, a product for migraines ran a study where friends and family could feel what their loves ones go through when experiencing these kinds of headaches. They can’t simulate the pain, however, they’re able to see what affects sensitivity, light, and sound, etc., can have on a person with this condition. As one sufferer stated, “Sometimes you have to experience it (the pain) in order to get it.” Something about this woman’s comment and the concept of this study stayed with me.

I recently got into a heated discussion about my writing with someone who has basically been with me since the beginning of this process. This person made me feel that what I was doing—all the evenings, nights, missed events, financial struggles, the rejects (some kind and some brutal) were worth nothing because at the end of the day—at the end of all these years, I have nothing to show for it. Not…one…red…cent. These words cut me deeply.

I get that my friends have concerns. I know that it gets frustrating for them when they want me to hang out but I don’t because I rather write. I get that they worry about me being able to supplement my income while I write. I even get that they worry that by me sitting at a desk for hours—often without even moving to eat, drink or go to the bathroom—that this may be harmful. But I never once believed that any of them thought that what I was doing was worthless.

Using an example like a migraine might be a stretch but I used this analogy so that maybe we could understand what true empathy means; Identifying and understanding what someone else may be feeling or going through. What it takes for someone to sacrifice for a passion—a dream, a goal. Because when artists create, they’re alone. And because of the loneliness, we often need our friends and family to mentally support us.

I may write for the rest of my life without any financial success. But at least I know that I gave it everything I had. Yes, I pray that one day I’ll make a living with my writing but I also know that if someone offered to publish my writing today with out offering me a dime, I’d still do it. Because I love it that much.

So, I hope that if you have friends or family that are striving to be an artists, encourage them. Put yourself in their shoes. Because even though art can often be lonely, knowing that there are people around you that are empathetic to what you are trying to achieve and sympathetic to what it takes out of a person to work hard on a goal, means a hell of a lot.

To all my friends who continue to encourage me, I love and thank you. To the others________. Well, you may not be writers but I’m sure you can fill in the blank.

Seasons of Staying on a Path

I applaud writers who are able to stay focused no matter what demands are placed on them. I often have burst of these moments where I am able to write without distractions for months or longer but then there are times where I can get so distracted that it often takes me weeks or even months to find my rhythm again.

This happened recently. I’d been unable to truly focus on anything concrete with my writing. And because I’ve always questioned why this occurs it takes me another week or two to ponder the reasons why. At first I blamed it on my new job. After taking a sabbatical for over a year, it was hard to get back into the groove of working fulltime and trying to find time to write. I’ve now been working as a contractor for a little over three months and have changed my work schedule three times.

Also the hours and days are a bit unusual. A nine-to-fiver for most of my working life, I was placed on the 2nd shift which meant that I didn’t make it home until after 10:30pm or later. I originally worked, Tuesdays - Fridays and Sundays, then it changed to Wednesday through Sunday and off Monday and Tuesdays. Now with my new hours of 4/40 (work 4 days for 10 hours and off 3) I don’t make it home sometimes until midnight or later.

But any writer would be able to make the shift to finding time to write in the early mornings but I still struggle. My workday doesn't begin until 1:00pm but I still can't find the energy to nudge myself out of bed until after 11:00.

All of this sounds plausible and I’m sure many writers would understand why I’m having such a hard time. But when I really dig deep, I know that none of the above are the reasons. That the real reason is I'm disheartened.

I’ve worked hard for the last 15 years writing, drafting, taking classes, and then writing and rewriting. In the last year and a half, I really buckled down and finished what I thought was some incredible work. But at the end of my year, I found myself out of money and the need to get another job, something that I thought I would never have to do again and it makes me sad.

Since 2014, I’ve gotten more rejections that all start the same, ‘Thank you so much for your submission but unfortunately’… I’ve submitted to contests after contests only to make it to the quarter-finalist mark. And I’ve come close to selling a script and getting a short story published only for those doors that had been open to suddenly close.
I am not a one-hit-wonder writer. You know the type—one book and they expect to get a contract right away and I’m sure some do. But I don’t want to be that writer. I want to be an author known for many projects.

My first book is completed along with half of a draft of the 2nd in a series and I have an outline for the third. Three screenplays, some short stories and a couple of poems are also finished. Have I paid my writing dues? You tell me.

I’m sure there are writers out there who’ve done more and some who’ve done less. I just know that right now I’m fighting to get back on the horse. I can’t let myself down. I’ve got too much to loose at this point. I would hate to think that all the words I’ve written, and all the stories I still have inside of me will be for naught. I would hate to let all the people down who believe in me; who believed enough in me to buy me an Apple computer, who brag to their friends about their writer friend, and the ones who continue to pray daily for my success.

So for all the writers out there who feel like I do and who have to push themselves daily to face another day, and another blank page I say to them… stay focused, stay driven, stay faithful and most importantly, write damn it, write!

Season of Repetition

As a writer there are often key moments or words that stick in my mind either from a conversation that I’ve overheard or a comment someone might have made to me. I always pay attention to what’s happening around me since I never know when inspiration may hit. Some of the best stories are often just a table away. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you may look at it, cell phone conversations are making this a lot easier.

Most recently I’ve been hearing the word, repetition a lot. It first struck me when I overheard a conversation in the break-room at my recent job and then again during my training period since the work that I do demands a lot of attention to detail which one can only learn after a few months of repetitiveness.

At first I scoffed. After all, who wants to live a life of repeats day in and day out. But then whose life is not filled with repetitions.

I thought my life would be so different when I took a break to write for a year. Since my time was now my own, I dreamt of days to write any time I wanted. I had it outlined in my mind. I’d get up anytime of the day and maybe watch a little television, take constant naps, stroll on the beach, or meet my friends for weekly lunches. But that turned out not to be the case. Quite quickly and surprisingly, I ended up with a daily routine. Less than a week, I begin doing the following:

1. Take my shower, wash my face, then brush my teeth
2. Maybe comb my hair
3. Get dressed (same outfit of sweats and a t-shirt), make my bed and make sure my desk was clean
(something I never did when I was working fulltime)
4. Read my bible, the Daily Word and then pray
5. Check my email, scan Facebook and Twitter for 30 minutes
6. Make myself a cup of green tea
7. Write until 4 p.m. then eat my breakfast for 20 to 30 minutes while watching Barefoot Contessa
or Ellen depending on the guests
8. Write until I got tired

Even with writing you often have to be repetitive. For instance, if you are a screenwriter you need to follow the rules of formatting and the same can go when writing a novel—agents and publishers all want the same format: times new roman 12pt, double space, and a specific word-count. You have to be cyclic with rules. But this should never have anything to do with telling your story. And thank God this is where I can break free from the monotony.

Audiences or in this case readers don’t need to understand all the rules and guidelines it takes to make your story. They want it fresh and lively. Take for instance the Food Network Star competition. For the last challenge, each contestant had the opportunity to shoot a pilot. While one of the contestants was shooting his, he was asked to stop and restart. “Why,” he asked? I knew the answer immediately. Repetitiveness. Without realizing he kept repeating the same word. Audiences will notice that immediately and the same will go for your readers.

Being repetitive is not always a bad thing and is often necessary when helping you stay on point in your writing. Just make sure that it doesn’t reflect in your overall story.

A good storyteller takes the repetitiveness of life and makes it exciting. ~Sheilah Brooks

The Season of Patience…


I’m a modest person. I don’t need a lot of bells and whistles to be entertained. Give me a couple of great books or a few classic movies to watch and I’ll be good for months. One of my other simple pleasures is to have long philosophical talks about life while sipping on a cup of green tea with friends. A good conversation can open up so many ideas, opinions and debates. The thought that this art is slowly being replaced by email and texting saddens me.

Since I am often in my head (I talk to myself a lot), these conversations can stay with me for weeks, months or even years depending on what’s happening in my life. Recently I recalled a conversation that I’d had a few years back with my girlfriend, Dannette about patience. It was one of those discussions about our hopes and dreams (career, finances, relationships) and how we were at a time in our lives where we wanted these dreams to manifest; and like most people we wanted them… now.

This also led us to the meaning of being faithful which brought us to the word, patience. After all, the Word teaches us that patience is a virtue and should be included in our prayers alongside faith and hope. But surprisingly, my friend said that she never prayed for patience because praying for patience meant waiting for as long as it took for her goals to come into fruition. Simply put, God's timetable is not our timetable.

I didn’t comment at the time, but for a while I noticed I would skip phrases in the bible that spoke about patience and was careful not to utter the word even in my prayers. Like my friend, I was anxious for things to begin happening in my life and was afraid that God would take his time. What we may want now may take for what may seem a lifetime to us. But I realized that skipping over that word really meant nothing. That sometimes we may have to wait and that waiting without worrying or complaining is not so simple, but is extremely necessary if we want to be content with where we are in our lives.

Being patient is extremely hard for me. I’m not talking about waiting in a grocery line, in traffic or on the phone for a customer service rep. or for the light to turn green while waiting to exit my complex (that is the longest light ever), but waiting for that yes from an agent, to meet the right man, or for a lifelong dream to come true.

Most people know that I’ve been writing for years. In 2014, I put my writing into high gear finishing my book and starting another, writing a couple of screenplays and tightening short stories and poetry; basically getting everything tight so that when an agent called, I’d be ready. Sure, I’ve always sent out queries and entered fellowships and contests during the years, but this had been the first time where I felt that I had worked the hardest on my craft to get it to perfection. But still nothing.

Waiting and patience go hand in hand and that's where I am today. I’ve done my work and now I’m in an expectant stage. Though I may get discouraged, I know that there are successful writers out there who at one time were just like me. Writers who went through many, many rejects before they got that yes. Writers who probably thought about giving up when they saw their savings dwindling to nothing. Writers who have to encourage themselves while everyone around them thinks they should give up. And worst the voices in your head that are saying that maybe you should.

I’m not saying that I won’t get impatient while I'm in this Season. But what I am saying is that for now I’m living in the moment, being grateful for where I am today and recognizing that it has a purpose.

Romans 8:24-25 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

The End of a Season

I’m a big watcher of television. From comedy to drama I love it all and so much so that if I knew I only had a week to live, I would want my last days to be filled binge-watching episodes of: Gotham, Scandal, Modern Family, Blackish, The Good Wife, The Big Bang Theory (God help me, but I love this show) and my all time favorite, The Golden Girls. I could list many, many others, but this particular blog is really not about how many shows I watch a week; it’s about what happens after the season of a show is over.

There used to be a time when I dreaded when my favorite show for the fall season was coming to an end. If I had a choice, these shows would continue on and on like soap operas—even though I may have gotten busy for a week, I could pick up right where I left off.

But for the first time in my TV-watching life, I became impatient for my shows to end so that the new season would hurry up and begin. I actually became annoyed when some of these shows were taking forever to windup. This became confusing for me. What had changed in the way I watched these shows? Was I becoming one of those gratification junkies? You know the type—always looking to purchase the next new thing in electronics instead of enjoying the ones they have for at least a week.

Eventually, I figured out my problem. The way I was feeling had nothing to do with television and everything to do with what was happening in my life. You see, at a time where most of my shows were going on hiatus, so was my writing life. To be more specific, after leaving my job of six years to write, I was coming close to the end of my savings and it was time for me to begin looking for a job. Unfortunately my season of writing freely, and without any distractions, was coming to an end. The knowledge left me saddened and filled with dread. I was not ready for this season to end, but I had no choice.

I now find that instead of writing for hours on end and having the best time of my life, I’m now spending those hours looking for work so that I can again save and pray that my writing income will eventually pave my way to independence, success, and eventually financially security.

I’m currently at a season of stagnation and I’ll write more about this season in my next blog, but right now it’s more about what’s next for me. Just like the ending of my shows, right now I have no idea what’s going to happen next.

I just pray that unlike my favorite shows, I won’t have to wait until the fall to see what’s next.

TGIF - Thank God It's Finished... Well, sort of.

Yup, after ten years of working on my novel (although, for a couple of years I did put it to the side) I am finally done and boy do I feel… Actually, I’m not sure how I feel.

I finished my novel back in October 2014. After rewriting, redrafting, deleting, editing and re-editing I was confident that it was now at a place where it could stand on its own. Completing my manuscript was a very big deal. Besides getting a callback to audition for the Broadway musical, Rent (yes, I know you’re tired of hearing that story), it’s one of my biggest accomplishments. But it also makes me the saddest.

I can be an emotional person but I’m also a realist. Change is important to ones growth in life and I’ve always been the type to step out of my comfort zone even if it meant leaving the city where I was born, getting out of a long-term relationship that wasn’t going anywhere, or leaving a good paying job to work on a passion without any other means of financial support. But it doesn’t mean that those things don’t affect me, especially the money thingy.

When I moved from New York to California, I was sad about leaving my friends and family. And after leaving my last job of six years, I was a hot mess. And that’s exactly how I felt when finishing my book. I’d shared so much with my characters and they’d been such a part of my life for so long. I’ve cried with them, watched them grow, and have even shed tears when I had to kill one of them off. (I write murder mysteries, btw) But the hardest was saying goodbye to something that had been part of my life for years.

I believe part of that sadness was brought on by starting a new project. I know writers often have problems coming up with new ideas for their next book but that wasn’t my issue. I had been carrying around an idea for awhile and had even done a short outline. I was physically ready.

True, there was the excitement of writing something new, but mentally I wasn’t prepared to leave my old friends behind. Just like my friends and associates from my last job, I missed them terribly.

I’m good at letting go of the past, and I thought moving on with my new project would be quite easy. I now wonder if authors like Stephen King or Michael Connelly have had these problems. After years of producing so many other works of literature, do they ever truly let go of their first book?

Almost two-hundred pages later into my new manuscript, I’m still connected to my first. But I’m happy to say that I’m letting go more and more now that I’m becoming more invested in my new characters although it’s still a challenge.

My make-believe characters are not really much different than the real ones. I can phone, text or email my friends in New York as often as I want and when I get lonely for my old co-workers I can always meet them for a quick catch-up and much needed hug.

And I now understand that there is nothing wrong with staying connected to my first book because one, I would be using a recurring character, (that’s a bonus when writing a series) and two, when it hits the bookstores and becomes a bestseller, people around the world will become acquainted with my characters and once again, they’ll become a major part of my life.

Just like the memory of my first boyfriend, I’ll never let go of the memory of my first book. After all, he’s still the best kisser I’ve ever had.

PS: This piece is dedicated to my east coast friends and family, my favorite boss (you know who you are) and all those writers out there who are nervous about starting their new book

Editors - The Quicker-Picker-Upper

Hiring an editor can be one of the hardest things to do as a writer. It often means: trusting someone to understand what you are trying to portray in your writing, leaving yourself open and vulnerable to critiques, biting your tongue when the editor tells you something about your story doesn’t work and the hardest of them all, the idea of someone cutting sections of your book (which often feels like someone cutting chunks out of your heart). Because for most writers, writing can often feel like opening up a vein—it’s a big part of whom we are.

However, I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a professional editor look at your book once it’s finished. And by finished I don’t just mean that you’ve finished the writing but you’ve also gotten it as tight as you can (spell check, grammar, story structure). And I’m not just talking about self-help publishers with the purpose of offering you an editing service for signing up for one of their publishing packages. I’m speaking of an editor who can be a grammatical and story editor as well as someone you can hopefully build a relationship with.

Even with hiring an editor, it’s important that you do your homework. The editor I used for my first book asked me to send them my first 150 pages and based on the feedback she would provide, I would be able to use those notes to edit my last pages.

That process has helped me to become a better writer but it took awhile. My first big-girl job (and by big-girl I mean for a large company in a large city, i.e. New York) was at Citibank on Wall Street. My manager begin to let me write memos to the department but before they were sent out, they had to first go through the red-pen test and those red marks scared me. But eventually I begin to look forward to them because they helped me to become a better business writer.

However, years later when I decided that I wanted to be a writer, seeing red marks throughout my novel were frightening and overwhelming. My first thought—there is no way I can do these changes that she’s asking and it took over a year for me to get over that fear.

But now I know that what she did as an editor: the changes, the cutting, even the scolding of my continuing habit of telling and not showing or the over usage of adverbs has made me a better writer. And now with the beginning of my 2nd novel I know what to watch out for.

Editors can be expensive and as writers we often don’t have a lot of money especially those like me who’ve decided to leave a well paying job to finish that novel. But these days searching the Internet can also provide help.

Though I am not a huge Facebook person, often I can find free advice from editors on the site. Only a few months ago, I ran across an article from an editor on suggested ways look for small errors and mistakes by using the Ctrl F button to find over use of words, such as; believe and felt or words ending in ly. But any great editor, one who is going to turn your story into a sellable book, is worth more than their weight in gold.

Bounty paper-towel let’s you know that their towel is better than the cheaper brand—it can pick up a mess with one swipe. The same goes for a great editor. A great editor can help you create a great product to send to agents or publishers. But if you decide to go the less expensive route--no editor at all or doing it yourself, you may end up with a cheap product or in this case a poorly written book. So I implore you when it comes to your success as a writer, don’t short change yourself!

Good Writing or Sensationalism

I recently came across an article on Facebook about the sex scenes or specifically, the gay sex scenes in two of the shows on the ABC’s roster this season, Scandal and HTGAWM (How To Get Away With Murder) and although the article was well written, I became more interested in the comments. While some cheered the scenes, others jeered and while a few made valid points, there were others who simply got angry, even going as far to telling viewers that if you don’t like it, don’t watch it. But I don’t think not watching is that simple.

I’m a Black woman—I’m a black Christian woman—I’m a black Christian woman that writes. This means that when I watch television or read a novel, I’m viewing with what I like to call my four senses: as an African American, a Christian, a woman and finally as a writer.

While I have no problem watching gay relationships on the TV (I loved Will and Grace and still watch the reruns and I am a big fan of Modern Family), I do however have problems with scenes that may have been written for shock value only.

Shows that draw me in must have writing that is exceptional, that can pull me in as a viewer, have a great story line and lastly, makes me care about the characters.

Scandal is a well written show but most importantly, I care about the characters. Though it’s filled with sex and violence, these individuals have redeeming qualities and I’ve never once felt that a scene was written just for shock value or sensationalism. But what I love about Scandal has me on the fence with HTGAWM. I have yet to connect with any of the characters or even the storyline. This makes me sad because I am a HUGE FREAK when it comes to murder mysteries. I LOVE THE GENRE.

Not every sex scene, curse word or even violence helps to move a story along. Sometimes it even halts the story. For instance, when Viola’s character was removing her makeup and her wig, it was such a powerful scene on its own. Did inserting the word, penis help… in my opinion not so much.

Sensationalism seems to be the motivation in so much of what we do and see these days, even with the news. I remember watching a clip of a news anchor stating how the ‘powers that be’ were becoming more interested in what sells than reporting the news—hence what’s happening with a celebrity may trump important news say, another drop in unemployment or what’s happening in Israel.

I had a fellow writer say that because my stories lacked vulgarity, how could I expect to call myself a writer. That made me sad. I want my writing to entertain and maybe even surprise and shock but in doing so, do I need to conform to that type of writing to be successful? I hope not and I know a lot of famous and successful writers that don’t.

Sex and violence definitely sells but so does a great story with strong characters. Take, The Good Wife. One of my favorite characters is Kalinda Sharma who is bisexual. She’s a badass who can kick butt when wearing heals… Love that. Does Kalinda use sex to get what she wants? You betcha. But when it happens, it’s not thrust in your face and it moves the story along. Each time you learn a bit more about what motivates her.

Another good example recently was a scene on Gotham with Jada Picket’s character, Fish Mooney and a woman who was auditioning to sing at her club. When Mooney asked the girl to seduce her, the scene was sexual. It hinted at sexuality, peaked our curiosity and spoke volumes. Like a man who doesn’t need to stand in front of me naked to be drawn in, I want the same when I’m looking at a show. To me that’s the sign of good writing.

Telling an audience to like it or lump it is not always that simple and I think might be a little sad. Especially when people may want to support the show because of the actor or actress or what that show may even represent. We watch for different reasons. Several watch because they want to support a show that has a strong woman who happens to be black. Because although we may feel that there aren’t enough shows that portray gay relationships (and that may be true), there are fewer shows that portray strong African American, Indian, Hispanic or even Asian woman who are also sexy and desirable. (btw, thank God for The Mindy Project) And more than a few want to watch because we hope the show has a great plot and characters we can relate.

Raw violence and sex may have its place in a story but is it more important than the story or characters themselves? These are the questions I’m asking myself when I watch shows like, How to Get Away With Murder. Is it titillating my four senses? I’m still tilting on that fence. What about you?

Can a Sista Get a—Hey Girl or Somethin’…

I’ve been missing in action from my blog for the last two months because I’ve been working on my manuscript and finishing the last of my edits. It’s pretty exhausting but a necessary part of being a writer and I thank God everyday for my editor. But more grueling then working on edits is preparing a query to send to agents.

I’m very diligent before I send out my letters: researching their websites, reading the guidelines, ensuring they accept my genre and making sure they accept unsolicited materials. But most importantly my queries and manuscripts need to be free of grammatical errors. So it confuses me when I receive responses/rejects that have errors and are often impolite.

Believe me, I am no newbie to the world of rejects. I respect and understand that these agents and publishers receive piles of queries and I give props to the ones who take the time to respond. But is it asking too much for these responses to have some sort of decorum?

Recently, I received two rejects via email. The first one wrote, 'not intrasted' and the second, 'no thannks'. This is their spelling not mine. They also didn't respect me enough to add a salutation.

Experts suggest that when we receive these rejects we should not respond in kind. Basically keep our mouths shut and move on. But come on. I’ve received my fair share of form letters and I’d rather have one of those then a response that has no thought put into it.

But as they say, ‘three is a charm’. The third email I received, though it was also a reject, restored my faith that there are agents out there who are not just kind and considerate but they also understands how hard it is for any writer to put themselves out there. I thank her and all agents like her. Below is the email I received minus the name of the agent.

****

Thanks for writing to me about your work.

I'm sorry, this is a pass for me.

Right now my list is very full, and I'm fortunate that business
is very good so I have to pass on projects that are not only
good and publishable but ones I really like. That's a good
problem for me, but it just stinks from the writer's
viewpoint, yes indeed it does.

I strongly encourage you to query widely. Other agents have more wiggle room
on their lists and are able to take on more than I can.

Please think of this as redirection to another agent, not rejection.

Very best wishes to you!

But I also want to point out that even if I had not received the third email I was not daunted by the first two. I actually chuckled.

If you believe that you have a good, no great story (and I believe that I do), keep putting your work out there.

You only need one yes.

Thick Skin—Learning to Handle Critiques and Criticism

I was recently invited to join a conference call by my friend and author, Martha ‘Marti’ Tucker, owner/operator of Urban Classic Books, a self-publishing company in Culver City. For a couple of weeks after, I’ve been thinking about what it means to have your worked critiqued.

During the call, writers were allowed to read from their works (no more than 2-pages) and then get feedback from their fellow writers. Normally when I am a guest, I try not to say too much unless asked, but I felt a need to comment on one of the writer’s works. Though I felt his chapter was well written, I had a minor suggestion—to rework or move a sentence that I believed did not help the flow.

I thought I was giving a very minor suggestion but unfortunately it caused not just comments from the other writers, but it also left the writer feeling his work was being criticized. I explained that it was more of a critique but to that writer it felt like his work was being disparaged. But I feel there is a difference between the two words. To critique ones work means to give a review or commentary on that person’s work; to criticize is the act of criticizing, mainly adversely which was not my intention.

I’ve been on both sides of the fence being a writer and an editor. I’ve even run across writers who’ve asked my opinion about their writings, for instance, the structure or flow of the story, etc., but then too often when I am honest, I don’t hear from those writers again and I can’t help but wonder—did they really want an honest opinion?

When I received my manuscript back from my editor Jean, I was miserable. Forget the fact that she believed my book was sellable. The only thing I could think about for weeks was the red marks.

Successful writers, authors and editors will tell you to let your friends read your work but getting feedback from them can come with a double-edge sword. Some friends may feel that they can’t be honest because they don’t want to hurt your feelings and will use the standard, “it’s great”, while others may just be poor at evaluating your work because they aren’t readers or even fans of your genre. And still some may just be haters and give you nothing but negative feedback. Yup, even your friends can be haters. Blah!

And what about the editors that we pay to edit our work? Do we handle those critiques any better? I’m not saying that I love to have my work critiqued or even criticized but I do try to stay open especially if I am in an environment where my work is being critiqued or if I’ve asked a friend or paid an editor. But then there are so many other ways writers and screenwriters have to go through this agonizing albeit necessary process. How many?

Stay tune for Part II – Thick Skin.

Brother Can You Spare a Dime?

In 2002 when American Idol first appeared on Fox, many of my friends suggested that I should try out. I opted-out stating that I was no longer in love with the idea of singing and that I had found a new passion, writing. But I could not help wonder how well I would do on a show like Idol. Back then, I definitely had the chops to compete and maybe even make it past the first couple of rounds with the judges but what about when it came time for the audience participation.

In the 80s when we had shows like Star Search, the only people you had to wow were the judges. These days you have to not only wow the judges, but hope that you can also win favor with the audience. So I ask the question—for the ones who won was it all because of their talent?

I’m sure there were factors on why singers like Jennifer Hudson or Clay Aiken didn’t win and I wonder if one of those factors had anything to do with the amount of family or friends, or friends of family they had or didn’t have. Winning by popularity has been around for a long time. In the 1930s, the Apollo Theater was one of the first venues to have a talent show winner be picked by an audience and most times it had a lot to do with how many friends and family you've invited.

Now, what does this have to do with writing…?

Take self publishing. Although I went that route with my non-fiction, Seasons of Writing, I decided that I do not want to go that route with my novel. When you self publish you have to take care of everything including: design and interior of your book, formatting, pricing, distribution but most of all, marketing and public relations. And yes I know there are writers, who have been successful with self publishing, but I also believe the old adage—it’s not what you know but who you know that often applies.

Self-promotion is extremely hard and for a writer it’s even harder. Unlike a singer who is often given a couple of minutes to do a song, a writer may only have the opportunity to put what might be a 300-page novel or a two hour script into a short synopsis or a logline or if you’re even luckier, show a short trailer with hopes that you’ve grabbed your audiences attention.

Screenwriters and filmmakers can now utilize sites such as, YouTube and Kickstarter but you still need to promote. I am not good at self-promotion and if I’ve already said that a couple of paragraphs ago please forgive me, but it bears repeating. But I have no problem in helping others like director, Graham Cribbin and writer/producer Roger Lewis and producer Clinton Allen promote their work, Grisly. I know what type of labor it takes to putting together a short-film or trailer. Hell, I even know what it takes to put together a Kickstarter package. But even if I were not a writer I would still be able to understand what it takes to work on a passion and for that alone I will donate and help whenever I can. I hope you will do the same.

Please donate at: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1611058915/grisly-the-movie

You Are What You Read

I love to read. Anyone who truly knows me knows that I love reading almost as much as I love writing second only to watching the Golden Girls. When a BFF buys me a book or a gift card from Barnes & Nobel or any other book franchise (sadly, I can’t think of any that are still in existence), I cherish that book.

One of my BFFs recently treated me with a ticket to see bestselling author, Walter Mosley give a reading and book signing for his latest book, Debbie Doesn’t Do It Anymore. I love when other writers talk about their writing process but it’s especially thrilling when it’s someone as time-honored as Mosley. I had the honor of seeing him 12 years ago, but it was more rewarding now since I finally made a conscious decision to write fulltime.

Usually the type of questions asked at these events are typical: what motivated you to become a writer, how do you come up with your stories/characters and my favorite, what author inspired you to become a writer? And since I love to read, I am always curious about their answer. Most times, the writer will be modest and come up with a few names instead of just one. I’m assuming they do this as to not show favoritism for a particular genre or writer.

However, Mosley did not give the typical answer. He stated, and I’m loosely quoting, […no one author can ever say what writer inspires them. Those writers typically like to name authors that they may simulate: genre, style, even ethnically]. For instance, you may think that since I am a black women writer I would say, Zora Neale or Toni Morrison.

I thought about his answer a few hours after I got home. I wondered if I were to be asked that question, would I say James Baldwin, Langston Hughes or even J. California Cooper or would I be honest and say Mary Higgins Clark or John Grisham. I do love reading books by Baldwin and Hughes and even a Terry McMillan book once in awhile, but my all-time favorite genre is mysteries and legal thrillers—genres that both Grisham and Clark write.

I can’t help but to think about my two nephews, Marcus and Maison who both love to read. But I was more surprised by the type of books they were reading when I visited with them in New York a couple of months ago. Marcus at only 15 is reading, The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare (to be honest I have never heard of this play and I have read a few of Shakespeare's work) and Maison at age 10 is reading, Poem Depot by Douglas Florian. And I don’t know who was reading, Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse, a book that deals with the spiritual journey of self-discovery. I think I need to find that out.

When I was their age, I was reading romance novels from writers like Daniel Steel and in my late teens my preference changed to Jackie Collins whose books are more risqué. But I can’t imagine reading these types of books anymore let alone, writing them. But I do believe the books that we read when we are younger do mold us a bit when we become adults.

No matter what Walter Mosley says, I’m sure some of the writers he’s read when he was younger had some influence on him and still does today. Both Steel and Collins still inspire me in some way although I may not admit this in front of hundreds of people.

I’m not sure if either of my nephews will become writers when they get older but I like to think that what they are reading now will help mold them into the men they will one day become.

Mosley also stated that he didn’t think reading was important to becoming a writer but I strongly disagree with him. I’ve always felt that studying and reading the craft of writing is very important to ones growth as a writer just as studying films are to a screenwriter. If you decide you want to write a graphic novel but don’t know where to began or how to start, you may want to read a book like, Marvel 1602 by Neil Gaiman, or if YA books are more your speed, study The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. When I read a John Grisham book or another favorite of mine, Patricia Cornwell, I’m not reading to copy their style but like any good traveler, I want to explore their style of writing.

I’m a mystery writer. It’s not the only genre I plan to write in my lifetime as an author but if readers want to place me in that genre with other mystery writers, I’m good. After all, if I am what I read, then let the story begin…

Pen Pal Productions: What Comes First--The Chicken or the Egg?

Pen Pal Productions: What Comes First--The Chicken or the Egg?

What Comes First--The Chicken or the Egg?

This old riddle has puzzled generations and philosophers for ages. Which came first—the chicken or the egg? Intellectual references to the question try to identify the first case of a basis and eventually an end result. The plain answer would be the egg since according to some, egg- laying species pre-dates the existence of the actual bird while still others argue the chicken came first. But this blog is about writing not arguing philosophical equations.

But I couldn’t help thinking about this riddle a few nights ago after attending a happy hour function thrown by Producer, Clinton Allen and Writer/Producer, Roger Lewis, following the screening of their short-film, Grisly, a sci-fi/horror short.

Having been on the short-film circuit myself, I wondered what would be next for the dual so I asked Roger. He stated that their next step would be to write a graphic novel. I was surprised by his answer. After all, convention dictates that the novel is written first then it is adapted into a script not the other way around. I was quick to point this out to him—proud that I knew the ins and outs of how to get a film made. But isn't thinking outside the box more conventional these days?

It doesn’t matter anymore what comes first. There have been plenty of movies that have been turned into graphic novels for instance, Star Wars, X-men and even Star Trek. It’s a great way to market your project. Take fiction and non-fiction. You no longer have to go the traditional publishing route to get your book out there. You can now self-publish.

Spending thousands of dollars on video equipment when you can now click a button on your iPhone or iPad to make a film is in and uploading your video to YouTube is another way for your work to be discovered.

Even if you have a great idea but have no funds, you no longer have to sell your belongings and live in your car. You can now get funding from places like Kickstarter.

These days it can take just a simple idea or concept to get a picture made in Hollywood as long as you know how to market your product. If you feel like everything needs to be in place before you can even start, you may be waiting a life time.

Taking advantage of social media tools like Facebook, KickStarter and Youtube is the way of life and life is ever-changin’. Like it or not, you have to be ready. Can you keep up?

If you want to be involved with an awesome project right at the start, then please type www.Kickstarter.com in your search engine and search for, Grisly: The Movie

Life Experience vs. Educational Experience

A few months ago, I went to a happy hour/networking social event in Beverly Hills thrown by a couple of friends. Since they were working on a movie project and I’m a writer, I thought it would be a good way to meet people who have similar interest.

As the evening progressed and conversations became more relaxed (alcohol was involved) a few begin to speak about their alma-mater. These guys were talking about some heavy duty schools: Chapman, UCLA, USC, and NYU and for a few seconds it crossed my mind that I might not belong here.

I attended a small college in North Carolina right after high school. I majored in Secretarial Science (what the hell was I thinking) but I ended up dropping out before I was done and for a couple of years I was embarrassed by that fact. I remember attending a job fair at a company and during the application process when I got down to the ‘list your education’ section, I left because I just knew I was the only one who did not have a college degree. A year later, I went back to the same company and was hired and during my 5 years there, I was promoted twice. Even after that validation each time the fall season would roll around, I would dread the idea of young college students joining the company with the fear that I would be replaced.

It took me a long time to get over not having a degree. When colleges advertise to students on the importance of getting an education, the selling point is how much salary a college student can make vs. just having a high school diploma. I remember speaking to a friend about returning to school and she commented on how much more money I could make and how it would help me move up in the company. I didn’t want to tell her that I made a lot more than some of my friends who have a BA.

What about the arts? For acting, music and writing is a degree necessary? This question haunts me once in awhile. In the last 10 years, I’ve gone back twice but I had to drop out because of finances.

I personally love being in school. Not so much when I was young but as an adult, I find college very rewarding. However, I’ve had teachers who’ve read my scripts and/or short stories ask me why I was attending school. My answer was that I felt it was necessary to learn the technical skills of writing since I felt I already possessed the talent. I now have learned those skills from attending Cerritos College for two years and a year at LMU. I am in no way a grammatical perfectionist but I know enough to string together a sentence or two. Plus, I’ve worked with enough college graduates in senior positions who are terrible writers and spellers.

I’d like to think my passion and creativity would be enough to become a published author or to get an agent but I can’t help but wonder. Nonetheless, I know that there are many ways to get an education. My life in itself has allowed me to become worldly-wise. My plan is to go back to school. Why? Simple. I’m always looking on ways to grow and to challenge myself. However, I will not let not having a degree stop me from writing.

Being a writer is not mechanical or technical. It’s spiritual and imaginative. It’s inventive in its artistic realm. It’s a written-word inflection on life at its very core.

The Importance of Networking

My close friends and family would probably drop and roll with laugher if they were to read this but I am very shy when it comes to meeting new people. But as a writer it is necessary to network especially in a city like Los Angeles.

Even though I am inhibited when it comes to meeting people, I still love networking. There is nothing like being around people who have the same passion as I do—writing and storytelling. Back in 2007, I had the pleasure of being asked to co-write a short film called ‘Spin’ with writer/producer, Camille Tucker (who also starred in the film) and writer/producer, Keta Brown.

The film was well received and showed in numerous film festivals including winning The Global Art Film Festival Hollywood award for outstanding writing. I enjoyed going to the many festivals not only to support our film but because I was able to see other amazing shorts from various writers. This also helped me to be privy to other events such as; award shows, women writer and director symposiums and special screenings.

Going to school for writing also helped. When I attended Cerritos College, my advanced screenwriting instructor, Steven M. Hirohama, not only hosted established writers and directors in the entertainment industry at the school, but he also sponsored fieldtrips to places like the Director’s Guild.

Unfortunately, when I began working fulltime, all that stopped and I lost contact with that unique circle or when I was invited to attend functions, I couldn’t go because of work. But now that I’ve decided to write fulltime, I’m working my way back into that circle.

Yesterday, I attended a screening of Grisly, a Sci-Fi/Horror short film written and produced by Roger Lewis along with his longtime friend and business partner, Clinton Allen. Grisly, an idea that has been forming for the past couple of years, made its debut in the popular *IFS (Independent Film Showcase) at the historic Laemmle theater in Beverly Hills. I was happy to be included in the invite to preview this film, one because of its various story lines (this short has the potential of becoming, in my opinion, the next X-files) two, I will be able to brag that I knew of it at the beginning but lastly, because Clint and Roger know the importance of networking.

Since meeting these two (I worked with Clinton at Activision, a video game company in Santa Monica, CA, and met Roger through Clinton) I’ve met a cornucopia of writers, actors, etc. who are not only well established in the biz but who also understand the importance of networking.

I’m sure people network not only to make contacts in their field of industry but they are also hoping to meet someone who can get them to the next level. But for me it’s so much more than that. As I said numerous times, writing is a lonely art. You’re held up in a room often for hours hoping to get at least one page done before you can move from that chair and if you’re really on a roll you can go for days not answering your phone or checking your email because you don’t want to move for fear of losing that momentum.

But I also have to say that out of the many places or people I’ve had the pleasure to network with, these guys are my favorite. Why? Because they love to give you props on other projects that you might be working on even if it has nothing to do with their own. They don’t have massive egos and they don’t mind sharing information. And because of their unselfishness, I plan to do whatever I can to help plug their project. After all, that’s what I believe networking should be about. Sharing ideas, stories and contacts whenever possible. These two guys have the mindset of ‘if we make it’ come join us for the ride. Isn’t that what networking should be about?

I implore you to share your networks and contacts. Be selfless…

*IFS is an organization founded to promote and support the creation and distribution of quality independent filmmaking.

Fear of Success, Rejection and the Unknown...

I’ve wanted to write a blog on fear for awhile. Fear is such an important makeup of our lives. We learn to be fearful early. As children, we are fearless: running, playing and experimenting. But then we hear our parent’s voices saying things like, do not touch, you’re running too fast or come into the house before it gets dark. They are fearful that we could get hurt. I remember my mother would repeatedly tell me when we were in the car to lock my door. “I don’t want anyone to snatch you,” she’d say. I now repeat the same to my friends when they are in my car.

As we get older, there are fears that can cripple us. I remember watching a Seinfeld episode. During his standup, one of his jokes began with him reading about a public poll that was taken on fear. The number one fear was public speaking and two, death. The running joke was that the average person would rather be dead then being the person doing the eulogy.

During the time I was pursuing a singing career, I had a good friend say to me that they felt that if I became successful, that I would change in a bad way. Although I couldn’t imagine that happening, I was fearful that if I did become successful, I would lose my friends. Now that I’m older, I don’t worry about that anymore. One, because that was their fear not mine and two, I’m pretty solid of who I am.

But as a writer I do have a couple of things I am fearful of—rejection and what success could mean for me. I’ve given up a lot when I left my job. Getting rejects when you have money coming in is not good but at least you know that you’re still getting a check and you can pay your bills. Getting reject notices when you know that ‘yes’ means everything, is a whole new ballgame and it can be crippling. Meaning, it can stop you from finishing those last couple of pages to that book or screenplay. It can keep you from tackling writing projects or genres that you’re not comfortable with because you might suck. And just because I was bold enough to leave my job, doesn’t mean I’m bold enough to take the next step.

My car was recently broken into. They stole my iPod, beats by Dre earphones (both were presents) and my house keys and although these things can be replaced, my peace was gone. For days, I had problems sleeping because the place where I always felt safe (my home) was now replaced with fear. Fear that they could enter my house even though the locks were changed. I was fearful of the unknown because I didn’t know if it was someone who lived or even worked in my complex.

Nevertheless, I am not the type of person that lets fear or anything else stand in my way for too long. At this specific time in my life, I can’t afford to let it stop me or even delay the work that I need to get done. So even though I’m afraid of rejection, I need to finish that screenplay and that book. And even though I may be afraid of success because it will take me out of my comfort zone; I might have to travel, meet different people and more importantly if that book and/or screenplay becomes successful, I will need to prove that it the first one wasn’t a fluke, I need to keep pushing.

What are your fears keeping you from achieving in your life?

The Joy of Rejections

I think most people would be able to relate to being rejected. We learn it at such an early age—we’re hurt when we are not invited to eat with the cool kids at their table for lunch, when we hear they are having the party of the year but we never received an invite/evite, when we audition for that part in the school play and our best friend gets it instead or when that girl who says no when you invite her to the high school prom. But they’re growing pains of adolescents and we eventually get over these types of rebuffs.

When we get older, rejection can become a little bit harder to come to grips with. That job or promotion that we worked our asses off to get only to be told we don’t have what it takes. That expensive engagement ring you brought only to be told, in the nicest way of course, that they can’t see themselves spending the rest of their life with you. That Broadway call-back that you didn’t get (btw, that happened to me). But how do you come back from that?

I’ve heard a few writers comment that the reason why they never send out their manuscripts is because they are scared of rejection. But my question to them is why even bother writing?

I am not new to being rejected. As a one-time singer, I had my share of sending out demos and most of the ones I sent out, I never even got so much as a form letter but I think that’s how it is in the music industry. Rude!

But when you send out query letters to literary agents and you get rejects, at least you are not left hanging. Most will send you a form letter. Some may even send you a personal note. But a reject letter is a reject letter no matter how it’s stated. Even if that letter says you have potential. The only thing we see is the: but, however and nevertheless. It all spells rejection to us.

So why should we continue to write? That is a very good question. I’m sure if my friends, family and associates knew how many rejects that I have received over the years, they would think I was crazy and probably tell me to give up.

I can give you a list of established writers who’ve received many reject letters before they got that yes but you know it’s not about that. It’s about believing that I do have that gift called writing. That I am a damn good writer and I know I will get that contract.

Rejection letters just make me stronger. When I get that yes, I’ll be able to say, “See, I told ya I was good.” Of course if you knew me, you would know I couldn’t do that. I’m not a ‘told ya so’ type of person. But if I don’t believe in myself and I believe what those letters say, then I will fail as a writer and I will end up like many of those other writers—having a draw full of scripts and books that no one is ever going to see and to me that would be a waste. I’m not ready to give up yet.

How many rejects would you be able to handle before you decided to quit?

I’m Ready For My Cigar…

How many of you have heard the saying, ‘Close But No Cigar’? If it’s new to you, then let me simplify the meaning. Say you are an advent lotto player and one night while you’re watching them call the numbers on the tele, you realize that with each number they pick you’re getting closer to becoming the big winner. You’re on the edge of your couch. Three numbers left and you’re now crawling to your set with your ticket clutched in your hand. Your palms are sweating because it’s so close you can taste it. Like a horse that you’ve bet on at the races you can see it getting closer to the finish line—come on… come on… Aw darn. Better luck next time.

I thought about this when I was in New York this past week. I was on the Metro North train heading back upstate from Harlem when I met what I thought might be my soul-mate. You know what I mean—that first glance and your heart skips a beat. You can’t help but sneak a peek at him as he reads his paper and you just hope like in the movies he might ask you for your number and when he does, you just know you’ll have a great story to tell your grandkids. But then seven days later he doesn’t call. What the what?

I’ve come so close to getting that cigar many times as a writer. In 2004, when I was halfway thru writing my first novel, I began sending out query letters to literary agents. Like many first-time writers, I was anxious to get a contract. I just knew I had a bestseller in my hands.

Not long after mailing around 10 queries, I got a response back from an agency in New York. The sequence was the following:

1. Please send us a synopsis
a. No problem. I can write one immediately
2. We like your synopsis. Please send us first 3 chapters
a. No problem. I have 3 chapters and I can send them immediately
3. We like the first couple of chapters. Please send us the whole book
a. Ooops. I better finish my book.

I rushed the last of my chapters and sent it off only to receive a form letter soon after telling me that my novel was too short.

After getting that letter, I put my novel away for a few years. But after awhile I took it back out and started to work on it again.

There have been many other times when I’ve come close to signing a deal but for some reason, it fell through. In 2010, that same novel became a quarter-finalist in the Amazon.com’s Breakthrough Novel Award competition. That’s 6 years later.

I will continue to draft and redraft my novel until I get it right. Recently I had it edited by a wonderful editor by the name of Jean Jenkins and I’m absolutely sure that when I send it out this time, I’ll get a yes and will finally be able to light that cigar.

Here’s smoke in your eyes.

Married or Divorced

During my college years, I had to write short stories, screenplays and poetry. Because those writings were primarily graded, I had to make sure I followed the instructors’ assignments. Fortunately, most of my teachers would allow me some creative license. But now that I am writing purely for myself, I have the freedom to write what I want and how I want. Or do I?

There are tons of literary agents and publishers out there and we writers are hoping to connect to at least one that is able to relate to our words and understand the story we're trying to tell. But what if that agent or publisher loves 98% of what you’ve written but wants you to change a percentage of your story. Just a small 2%. That’s not a lot is it? But what if that one piece anchors the whole story? Would you divorce the idea or fight to stay married to it?

I wrote a screenplay a couple of years ago called, Close-up. When it was done, I entered my script into screenwriter’s contests and was excited that I made it to the quarter and semi-finalist portion for a few. After getting close but never winning, I began to think that maybe I should make some changes to my script. I decided to take a writing class at UCLA. UCLA screenwriting classes are known to be taught by instructors whom have a body of published or produced work.

I took a class for 8 weeks and the format was the following:

1. Student would send the teacher a script or a script idea
2. Student would send teacher an outline of a script or idea
3. Student would read pages of the script in front of the class

After reading the script in front of the class, you would get critiques from each student on what they liked, disliked, worked or did not work with your script. Seldom there may be students in your class that are really good at giving constructive criticism. But some may have never written a script or studied screenwriting while others are just not remotely interested your genre. But what about the instructor?

I liked my instructor. Though we argued back and forth about the first 30 pages along with the use of flashbacks, I decided in the end he was right and rewrote most of the beginning of my script. Excited about my changes, I sent it out again but to my surprise I never got even an honorable mention. Was it the changes to my script? I don’t know.

I recently started watching a show called, The Writers’ Room. The show interviews writing staff from popular television shows. A couple of weeks ago it had Shonda Rhimes, executive producer and creator of Scandal. She spoke about how she came up with the idea for the show—a political series about a woman who owns a crisis management firm. When Shonda was selling the idea to the network, they loved it but were not keen that the main character would be having an affair with the President of the United States.

She stood firm to that premise and if you are a fan of the show you know that story line is pivotal to the whole series. But Ms. Rhimes has established herself as a screenwriter, producer and director and I have not. Did she ever have to change a story or concept even though she didn’t want to at the beginning of her career? I’d like to know. I’m not sure what will happen when I'm given that choice. I can’t wait to find out.

What would you do?